so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
