my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.