When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
