btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have post one night stand depression
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