Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
