The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize