the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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