Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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