TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
