Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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