yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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