now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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