your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
