Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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