I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize