Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
