Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
