I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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