I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
