I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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