i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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