she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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