i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
