my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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