At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize