WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
