dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
