guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
