This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
