i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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