Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
