Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
50% drunk capacity currently
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
