im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
