it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
