you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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