How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
