Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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