Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
