everyone is single if you try hard enough
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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