its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
