Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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