I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
