I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
