I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I smell like Dick and happiness
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