We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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