I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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