I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
