I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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