TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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