This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
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