our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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