It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
