I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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