Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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