Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
