I feel great
I just peed on a car
She announced her abortion via fbk
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize