Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
